Clare O'Bren who has no google history is not like my dentist. She is middle 50ish, olde enough to be my dentist's mother, she is not Irish and she wasn't particularly funny. She wore a lot of brown. But actually had very "posh doctor shoes".
Her office as such was very 80ish. It included and Atlas and book on AIDS which possible came out the year that AIDS was first notified. The only unique thing about her consultation room were the feathers on the curtain. Very American Indian. But wait, its a room. Its just you and the dr - why do you need a curtain? Ah, this is all newish terroiotry to me. She was perfunctory and effiecnt in her tasks. She read my medical history. It is a quick read. She didnt make any comment. She didnt ask me where I work. In that moment and now it doesn't matter. She didnt know that I actuially know A lot about screening, a lot about Health. I am not defined by my work. I am who I am like th great Broadyway musical. However, she quickly ascertained I do not knwo a lot about my body.
It turns out my "breast cancer" is a boil. It can be fixed with magnessiusm and ointmemt. She did note that it was quite unusual but not a lump and not breast cancer. She didn't quite know how to record this 'event'. She did not give me andy other medical advice. Instead on the train home I read the following info on the back of the Bactroban 2% ointemnet leaflet:
Take care and build good liefstyle habits....
- Have regualr daily exercise such as a brisk 30 minute walk
- Walk whenever possible, and watch your wieght
- Eat a healthy balanced diet
- No smoking, moderate alcohol and a postive attititude
- Keep your midn active with games, puzzles, reading, friends
- As your body ages and needs extra care you will appreciate these healthy liefstyle habits
All things I knew, but it was good to be reminded.
on the way home in the railway subway the guitair man was playing his rendition of Silent Night. It was the frist time aI had heard him play this. It makes a chaneg from what he usually plays. No doubt now that he has a new tune I'll hear it numerous times befroe Christmas,. But today it was good to hear.
Today I realised it snot about being in the space I was or could be, its about being in the space I am now.
Oh, also on the way home I passed a lady wearing a pink ribbon. It is not soemthing I udnerestiamte - cancer. But I am not going to be scared by it. I am going to face it and life full on. I consider my boil a timely reminder about life and living. I know I am fortunate that my breast cancer was a boil - its funny but the bit about reasssessing is not funny.
I'm finding my space again on a number of levels. Slowly and surely. It doesn't mean I still don't do the dumb thing. It just means I'm human.
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